| Flags of Dawn |
[Sep. 7th, 2009|08:25 pm] |
If you really loved me would you still give out your number to numerous guys, talk to them for weeks, and "forget" to tell them about me?
If you really loved me would you really think it's mean to tell people about me?
If you really loved me would you hide the fact that you're talking to a bunch of guys?
If you really loved me would you really ask me for advice on a relationship in your past that suddenly came out from hiding?
If you really loved me would you tell me that if I went somewhere (convention), you wouldn't go just for the fact I was going?
Sometimes it's hard to believe her. |
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| Misses Stewart |
[Aug. 13th, 2009|08:00 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Dr. Manhattan | ] |
She said she'd stop. A day later and another guy has her number. This is getting old really fast.
I'm working all day Friday and Saturday and then off to Boston. I don't want to start drama before Boston but it's the same shit over and over again. She flirts and flirts. Gives out her number. Doesn't mention me at all. The only time she does mention me is when I say something about it. I'm obviously not all that important if she completely forgets about me when talking to all these guys. Or she wants them more than she wants me and that's the reason she neglects to tell them about me.
I really enjoy working now. I can get a break from her. I get a break from everything. And I'm making some money. Even though so far it's all gone away pretty fast. Oh well. I should have expected it. |
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| Tomorrow Tomorrow |
[Aug. 10th, 2009|12:06 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Elliott Smith | ] |
She said that for her to tell a guy that she was with her boyfriend would be mean.
She referred to me as "a ride" to another guy from work.
She made up a stupid game to get off the hook. Basically she said she flirts, then comes out of nowhere and tells them she has a boyfriend. I read the conversation she claimed to have done this in. He asked her if I was her boyfriend. She lied.
She flirts and flirts. She "forgets" to mention I exist to other guys. And she has given her number out to three guys at work.
Is it really mean to tell people you have a boyfriend? She's claimed to be in love with me. But after seeing this other stuff it makes me feel like she doesn't even like and she's embarrassed of me.
She's amazing but sometimes this shit gets old. |
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| Always and Never |
[Jul. 8th, 2009|11:35 pm] |
I guess I'll miss the endless searching of Craigslist for jobs, but I'm glad I finally got one. I got me a job at the Vans store in the Outlet Malls. I'm pretty excited. It seems like a really chill place and GM seemed pretty cool. I'm finally going to make some money. |
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| Betrayal is a Symptom |
[Jul. 5th, 2009|10:24 am] |
I've filled out somewhere close to 15 applications. It's really annoying not getting anyone calling me back. I guess I'll wait until August when I know for sure Rave and SMG are hiring. But that means no theater for me. I'd rather work anyways.
There is a UPS Package Handling job that seems to be always hiring. I just wish you didn't have to be 18. Yeah, I'll be 18 in less than a week but I wouldn't want to take that job and have to quit when school starts. But I've decided I'm gonna take it on next summer. I know I'll want to work my butt off so I can save up enough money for my first year of college. Plus it's a very physical job and I think it would whip me into shape.
I just would like to stop filling out applications. |
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| space |
[Jun. 26th, 2009|12:19 am] |
Hide. Hide. Hide. Erase. It never existed. Lie. Lie some more.
It's getting old fast.
I thought she promised I could trust her, so why is she hiding things and lying?
It's getting old really fast.
Every time we come up with this subject she get's all sad and makes me feel bad for her. It sucks because I never win. I'm not the one lying. I'm not the one hiding things. But I always lose. No matter what. She ends up crying and makes me feel like a jerk for wanting to trust her. I'm sorry that all I want is to be able to trust. I can't do that if all she has to do is lie and hide shit from me. She knows she's a big flirt and that's why she's hiding things.
Seriously, it's getting old really fast. |
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| Thank You Space Expert |
[May. 25th, 2009|10:22 am] |
Sometimes it sucks to see all the guys she's had something for or had something with. Am I just another one of them? She still talks to them flirtingly and of course lies to me about it. I have my ways, though. But it sucks. She's fallen for so many guys so how am I supposed to know that the way she feels for me is real? Or is it just as much as all the other dudes?
Sometimes I honestly think she is the worst girlfriend ever. Some of the things she does makes me wonder if she really even likes me. She should know certain things would cause shit but she does them anyway. I'll ask her not to do something and she'll do it anyways.
What if she had never told you to stay away?
I hate this feeling. |
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| Right Now |
[Apr. 23rd, 2009|10:59 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Fort Minor | ] |
I never thought I'd make her cry. We need to slow down. I can't lose her over something that's not even important. She's important.
I made some more money (almost 200) doing sound and more tomorrow night. I'm liking being in theater a lot. I got to get a real job once summer comes, though. |
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| . |
[Feb. 22nd, 2009|09:38 am] |
I'm totally in love with this girl. Sounds cliche, but she's amazing.
I made $98 doing sound for a VSA performance, so I'm pretty happy right now. Everything has been going great. |
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| Situations |
[Feb. 10th, 2009|09:14 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Jack Johnson | ] |
I'm falling for her. Valentines Day is coming up and I need to make the best of it. I hope it all goes well. Dr. Manhattan on Friday! FUCK YES! |
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| Fuck. |
[Jan. 31st, 2009|10:31 pm] |
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It shouldn't be hard to ask another guy to keep his hands off your girl? I'd figure they'd understand. Any guy would hate the idea of other dudes' hands on the one they love. It's fucked up to say I deserve a beat down for not wanting his hands on her. It's fucked up that she hasn't done much to stop him, especially after she sees how much it affects me. It's driving me insane. I want to fucking beat the shit out of something. If it's him, so be it. He's a little bitch. |
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| Not a good day, at all. |
[Jan. 27th, 2009|07:07 pm] |
So I woke up and left super early to buy her breakfast. She ended up eating some of it and giving the rest to Ashley. Then in the middle of the day she's walking around with Aaron's Lettermen jacket on. I actually like Aaron a lot, but sometimes I feel like I have to compete with him for her attention and most of the time he's telling her to be with me anyway. Then I had a bowling match, which sucked. I'm bowling terrible. Then I hear that Keaton was grabbing her butt today so I texted him about it and of course all he has to say is "fuck you."
I'm tired of shit. I'm tired. I'm tired. |
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| Cherry |
[Jan. 26th, 2009|06:40 pm] |
It felt good, but I hope this doesn't screw it up. I think I need to slow it down. Big time. I'm crossing my fingers that it's not already screwed up. |
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| Loud Pipes |
[Jan. 23rd, 2009|11:08 pm] |
Who knew a joke about a burp would be this big of a deal? This is really lame. |
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| <3 |
[Jan. 19th, 2009|01:57 am] |
I know what I'm doing for Valentines Day. I'm going to try to write her a song. I'm going to make it as cheesy as it gets. Like the song from the Wedding Singer. I hope it turns out okay.
I'm also going to try to find that cross at Hobby Lobby. I swear when she read it her eyes lit up and she made the cutest face ever. |
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| Selling Advertising |
[Jan. 18th, 2009|09:04 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | David Bazan | ] |
Fun day yesterday... Spent about seven hours at Nina's and different parks. Have I mentioned I love this girl? Then Cody, Pills, and I went over to see Lou and Sarah since she was in town. It was good seeing her and it was good times. |
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| Kids Will Be Skeletons |
[Jan. 16th, 2009|10:29 pm] |
We get out of school at 11:30. Go grab a bite to eat. Bowl a couple games. We're at my house by 1:30. Then we go at it until Ashley calls at 5. Best three and a half hours of my life. It was special. She's special. Really special. |
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| Tracy |
[Jan. 15th, 2009|05:16 am] |
The best part of all this... I'm not afraid anymore. This is not something I'm necessarily used to, but she's been patient with me. When I kiss this girl, everything else disappears. All my worries and concerns are gone for those five seconds and the only thing I can think about is how amazing and beautiful this girl is.
I woke up this morning from an odd dream, and the only thing I thought about for the first twenty minutes I was awake was how much I couldn't wait to see her this morning. I've got two finals today and somehow those slipped my mind. I just want to see her. Everyday.
Things couldn't go any better.
On the non-cheesy side, I've got two finals today. I need to do really well on one of them to keep my A in History. I have some working room with German, though. I think I can get around a 70 and still have an A for the semester.
I <3 Ninaaaaaa. |
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| The Earth Will Shake |
[Jan. 12th, 2009|08:43 pm] |
The next two weeks; it's just us. Mama ain't here. I hope she's over every day. I'd love it. It'll give us time to work on... stuff. She's playing games. Fun ones, though. |
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| El Scorcho |
[Jan. 10th, 2009|09:14 pm] |
Best night ever. |
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